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The Tralfamadorian Review
The frontlines...
Created on 2002-11-16 17:57:04 (#779233), last updated 2007-07-06
1,247 comments received, 1,051 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
495 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Captain Sassypants |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 04-30 |
| Location: | Portland, Oregon, United States |
| Website: | http://www.tinglefinger.com/vam/index.html |
BioHeight: 9 feet.
Weight: Less now!
Stats: +42 strength farts when dice rolls burrito
Special Moves: Crippling inability to shut up, high tolerance for extended viewing of Star Trek, The Next Generation.
Hobbies: Drowning kittens, rasslin polar bears, baking muffins, gettin hammered.
Originally from another fucking planet, the Josh migrated to Antarctica with the goal of conquering the penguin population and enslaving them as an unholy army of the night. However, in an ironic twist of fate, the Josh discovered penguins’ complete lack of discipline, and despite his best efforts was unable to ready them for battle with even the smallest of killer whales, let alone all of South America. A period of mourning and isolation ensued, after which the Josh joined the whole of society, clean-shaven, and tamed by the experience.
The Josh is now an elusive species, emerging from his dwelling only to mate, and forage for sustenance. Living primarily off of $3 Merlot, and commonly seen wearing a toga fashioned from a Spider-Man bed sheet, the Josh has returned to school to pursue a career in either journalism or film.
Weight: Less now!
Stats: +42 strength farts when dice rolls burrito
Special Moves: Crippling inability to shut up, high tolerance for extended viewing of Star Trek, The Next Generation.
Hobbies: Drowning kittens, rasslin polar bears, baking muffins, gettin hammered.
Originally from another fucking planet, the Josh migrated to Antarctica with the goal of conquering the penguin population and enslaving them as an unholy army of the night. However, in an ironic twist of fate, the Josh discovered penguins’ complete lack of discipline, and despite his best efforts was unable to ready them for battle with even the smallest of killer whales, let alone all of South America. A period of mourning and isolation ensued, after which the Josh joined the whole of society, clean-shaven, and tamed by the experience.
The Josh is now an elusive species, emerging from his dwelling only to mate, and forage for sustenance. Living primarily off of $3 Merlot, and commonly seen wearing a toga fashioned from a Spider-Man bed sheet, the Josh has returned to school to pursue a career in either journalism or film.
ConnectInterests (31):
accordians, andrew niccol, anti-bush, astro-city, ayn rand, batman, beer, bloodhound gang, bloom county, cark, carlo rossi, elvis, film, hank williams, journalism, kurt vonnegut, local music, music, naked chicks, nofx, oingo boingo, philosophy, pro-tools, punk, skateboards, star trek, stiff records, the aquabats, the vam commanders, tingle-finger, tom robbins
Schools:
Musicians Institute - Hollywood, CA (2000)Portland Community College - Portland, OR (2001 - 2005)
Portland State University - Portland, OR (2005 - present)
Friends [View Entries] Friends (21):
a_bean_in_pdx, alfequalsfun, aurorapdx, chronicinsomnia, dogscanlookup, evilrhoda, filthbot, gargametal, grrrltalk, katatoniagrafix, marylied, nekochanj, nwelch222, phoenixfire21, plumjooce, poetryfork, qspade, retard_disaster, schorts, sylkwyrm, xxgazxx
Mutual Friends (14):
alfequalsfun, aurorapdx, dogscanlookup, gargametal, katatoniagrafix, marylied, nekochanj, nwelch222, phoenixfire21, poetryfork, qspade, retard_disaster, schorts, xxgazxx
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